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[pharmacy]

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Quentin Smith, 23

letters ◇ thoughts ◇ dreams

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Comments

[pharmacy]

idk everyone's asking about felipe, as his whole shit isn't....everywhere...

what ppl?

[oomfies]

some guy named nikolai

[ Sorry Nikolai!! Lottie loves talking shit and spreading gossip, especially when she is bored! ]

he keeps asking me all this stuff abt you and felipe
like i even know
said you were super defensive of him....

[pharmacy]

"some guy"? Nikolai negotiated the All-Sights return lmao, he's a great guy

I AM protective of Felipe, so how long of a list of reasons to hat him do you have? don't worry, i've been fielding these for like two days, you can let loose

[oomfies]

GOD quentin

i just asked a question
what's with the attitude??
i never said i HATED felipe

why are you even 'protective'?? he's a grown man!

[pharmacy]

You're a grown woman, I'd be protective of you if everyone was yelling at you too, I don't have an attitude i'm just tired 

if you don't hate him, whats the big deal if someone asks about me and him? 

[oomfies]

[ It's a big deal because Nikolai is implying something might happen to you. And you don't realize how shitty Felipe is because his dick is (allegedly) big and you're down stupid bad, Quentin. ]

yeah well i'm DIFFERENT from felipe
that's the difference

i'll never be like him so if you're protective of me that's like normal and fine & whatever obviously

and it's not a big deal
you're the one that's making it a big deal

[pharmacy]

okay, then what's the SMALL deal about Nikolai asking about us?

[oomfies]

he thinks you and i should talk about your felipe stuff
so you can be more analytical abt all this

[pharmacy]

all WHAT lottie?? Come on, you obviously have sth to say or sth to ask or whatever, can you just say it?

[oomfies]

don't YELL at me

[ But fine. ]

you should back off of felipe and let him handle his stuff himself
he isn't a good guy and you don't need that energy

[pharmacy]

[ fantastic okay great more of this, excellent ]

is this sth you've heard or sth you've actually seen?

[oomfies]

are you seriously taking his side right now?
i'm being REAL with you dude

[pharmacy]

no, i'm asking bc I've heard a lot of ppl coming to me with second and third hand stories, so I wanna know

I've told you I want to hear what you have to say before, if you're going to be real, don't be coy

Please

[oomfies]

[ It's so easy for Quentin to ask that.

It's so easy to the comparative difficult that grips Lottie's throat. She hasn't even told John the extent of all this, everything Felipe has done with her. To her. He only managed to get a taste of the issue when she thought she was going to be hurt and— that someone should know she's alone with him? If something happens to her? (Like girl code, but crazier and more real.)

Quentin asks for it, but will he believe her? Lottie wonders this as she tastes something like acrid bile in the back of her throat. ]

felipe was mean to me
and weird to me
and he's a liar
and insane

[pharmacy]

[ He doesn't want to believe it, but he's heard too much about Felipe to discount it entirely--and it's Lottie. If she didn't want him to hear the truth, she would just shut him down. He's heard soft euphemisms like mean and weird plenty of times in his life to know what it means when a woman says them. His stomach turns. ]

can you tell me what he lied about

[oomfies]

i made him promise to not tell my ex how sad i was when we broke up

bc he ran into my room unprompted when i was crying.. by myself... alone
and i find out like

MONTHS later from john that not only did he do it but he threatened to kill him if he came near me again

[pharmacy]

[ The lying is one thing. Realizing that she and John were close enough to break up is another. The glimpse of Felipe's reasons to be unhappy with John--it's a lot of new information, and none of it looks really great. ] 

when he made you that promise
was that before we all fell into the void? 

[oomfies]

uh yeah
after the void was even worse w/him..
he went insane when he realized i moved out
and dream felipe was an a-hole :/

[pharmacy]

I'm sorry
Thank you for telling me

If I keep trying to help him, are you gonna hate me?

[oomfies]

[ Yes. ]

no

[pharmacy]

[ hm ]

He's my friend
I know he can do better if someone is willing to set him straight, not just beat him down

I can turn off caring about him
It doesn't mean I don't care about you
Or Murphy
Or anyone else

[oomfies]

sure

[ Eventually, after a pause: ]

i dont think he will
and i dont think he can
bc i didnt 'beat him down'
that's just how he is and no one can change that
even after the last time he did shit to me he just tried gaslighting me

but do what u want!

[pharmacy]

I feel like as soon as we started getting to know each other, I started screwing things up right away

[oomfies]

what makes u say that?

[pharmacy]

idk sth about pissing you off that night you were at my place and babysitting a bastard just feels like losing points