...It is. Just like guts. Just like your organs, and that's how much you need those feelings too. You don't have to get rid of it, you have to protect it. Like your bones protect your guts.
[ ... ]
...I'm not gonna say last night was like a great example of protecting yourself, but--y'know. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I dunno, man, slutty was the name of the game. It was--literally the theme of the night. If anyone thinks worse of you and they were there? They're a fucking hypocrite.
How rich would I get betting you're worried about someone?
You're kidding me. Junpei, I have not seen anyone slut it up as much as House did last night. He's got no ground to stand on if he comes for you. He's got like a bog to sink into. Like a cum bog.
[ Sorry if that's gross, but who can say he's wrong?! ]
[ Quentin certainly wasn't immune to the charms of food and drink last night either, so it takes him a while to pull up the memory, but he gets there after a few seconds: ]
Oh--Danny.
[ Pay no attention to the frisson of fluttering behind the connection. ]
Listen, he was slutting it up, too. Me too. Like--everyone. I don't think he's gonna hold it against you.
[ He needs a minute to sigh, to rub his temples ruefully and weigh how much of this he wants to address in a deep way. Maybe this first and foremost: ]
Look, if you want to again. I'm--we hang out all the time, it's not like an imposition or anything. And fuck if I'm letting you practice with House or something.
Well, yeah, you finally noticed I'm cute, so you're officially screwed.
[ He'll leave it there for a few minutes, taking his time to remove a collection of jars for dusting. But they are friends--maybe better friends now with a few things out on the table. He can't just leave this alone, but at least he's more delicate about his approach: ]
[ It’s a struggle to hold back the groan he’s letting out in reality from entering the telepathic link. Maybe burying his face even deeper into the mattress will help in addition to covering his head with his blanket for good measure. A useless shield from the embarrassment he feels coming down the pipe. ]
I dunno, the same thing it means anywhere. Did he take advantage of the fact that you're nuts for him and he's a horndog and he could get away with it to--push you? Last night.
Everyone’s so worried about me getting “hurt”. It’s kind of funny.
[ ‘Everyone’ being just Quentin and Ankari, but it’s enough. ]
So maybe he’s using me … big deal. He’s not forcing cockroaches down my throat or kicking the shit out of me to get some stupid girl to sleep with him. I’ll take shallow, meaningless orgasms over pain any day of the week.
[ It stings to hear the things that Junpei is comparing this again, stymies some of Quentin's upset. At least enough to have him be more careful with his next words. He doesn't want to make himself a source of--
[ It's the same things as always, isn't it? Condescending. Patronizing. He's worked hard to not be that for Junpei. No sense in ruining it now, when he's already upset. Deep breath. ]
...It doesn't have to be one or the other. Do you trust the people worried about you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ ... ]
...I'm not gonna say last night was like a great example of protecting yourself, but--y'know. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
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[ A groan into his mattress. ]
I’ve been just trying to focus on work. It’s been going … fine. Then I die and the first thing that happens when I come back is … that.
[ Then, lower. ]
Everyone is going to think I’m a slut.
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How rich would I get betting you're worried about someone?
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[ Danger alarm is sounding. Quick throw out a distraction. ]
… who was that guy?
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[ Sorry if that's gross, but who can say he's wrong?! ]
What guy? Another someone?
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[ Especially reminding him how many other people he slept with! ]
A guy said he was friends with you and told me not to … go wild. Ugh, remembering the stuff we talked about … you have to tell him I’m not like that.
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Oh--Danny.
[ Pay no attention to the frisson of fluttering behind the connection. ]
Listen, he was slutting it up, too. Me too. Like--everyone. I don't think he's gonna hold it against you.
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[ He hasn’t forgotten that part. ]
But if you’re sure …
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[ He needs a minute to sigh, to rub his temples ruefully and weigh how much of this he wants to address in a deep way. Maybe this first and foremost: ]
Look, if you want to again. I'm--we hang out all the time, it's not like an imposition or anything. And fuck if I'm letting you practice with House or something.
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Stop bringing him up.
[ His imagination causes the hickey to pulse as the idea of the doctor wanting to be intimate again spawns a pleasant, excited tickle. ]
I … hate that I can’t get myself to turn you down.
[ Huffed out in that funny, fussy Junpei way that says he doesn’t hate it at all. ]
You’re so annoying.
[ -ly cute. With soft lips and talented hands. ]
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[ He'll leave it there for a few minutes, taking his time to remove a collection of jars for dusting. But they are friends--maybe better friends now with a few things out on the table. He can't just leave this alone, but at least he's more delicate about his approach: ]
Can I bring him up one more time?
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Why?
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He wasn't weird with you, was he?
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[ Did he say that convincingly enough? How in the hell had Quentin figured it out? Damn it damn it damn it. Who else knows? ]
If we did anything, it was for the same reason I did anything with anyone else last night - AND I’m an adult. I can … do stuff with other adults.
[ That was maybe a bit too much. ]
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He got to you.
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How long have you been fucking?
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[ When he comes through again, he's calmer, but Quentin is radio-silent long enough to indicate that he's taking a couple of deep breaths. ]
Okay. Fine, I can't--I don't want him to hurt you, Junpei.
cw: allusions to past violent abuse
[ ‘Everyone’ being just Quentin and Ankari, but it’s enough. ]
So maybe he’s using me … big deal. He’s not forcing cockroaches down my throat or kicking the shit out of me to get some stupid girl to sleep with him. I’ll take shallow, meaningless orgasms over pain any day of the week.
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[ It's the same things as always, isn't it? Condescending. Patronizing. He's worked hard to not be that for Junpei. No sense in ruining it now, when he's already upset. Deep breath. ]
...It doesn't have to be one or the other. Do you trust the people worried about you?
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[ The truth is difficult to put out there in the open, that ‘weakness’ bare on a plate before him. ]
What do you want me to say, Quentin?
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I'm saying it because I care about you. You believe that?
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🎀