rubi inbox

[pharmacy]

● ○ ○ ○

○ ● ○ ○

○ ○ ● ○

○ ○ ○ ●

Quentin Smith, 23

letters ◇ thoughts ◇ dreams

CODE BY

Comments

[pharmacy]

Yeah, with other non-creep adults. Can you not bullshit me for a second here?

He got to you.

[moondregs]

Why do you even care? We … ugh, that’s not the first time we did stuff together, okay? That was before I even met you. You’re being overly dramatic.

[pharmacy]

Not the first--

How long have you been fucking?

[moondregs]

Twice, and only last night was actual sex. It’s nothing … and … now that we did it, I doubt he’ll want anything again. Okay?

[pharmacy]

[ A swell of feeling kicks up on his end, and he cuts it off rapidly--but not before Junpei gets a buzz of white hot anger. It's brief. Seconds of it.

[ When he comes through again, he's calmer, but Quentin is radio-silent long enough to indicate that he's taking a couple of deep breaths. ]

Okay. Fine, I can't--I don't want him to hurt you, Junpei.

cw: allusions to past violent abuse

[moondregs]

Everyone’s so worried about me getting “hurt”. It’s kind of funny.

[ ‘Everyone’ being just Quentin and Ankari, but it’s enough. ]

So maybe he’s using me … big deal. He’s not forcing cockroaches down my throat or kicking the shit out of me to get some stupid girl to sleep with him. I’ll take shallow, meaningless orgasms over pain any day of the week.

[pharmacy]

[ It stings to hear the things that Junpei is comparing this again, stymies some of Quentin's upset. At least enough to have him be more careful with his next words. He doesn't want to make himself a source of--

[ It's the same things as always, isn't it? Condescending. Patronizing. He's worked hard to not be that for Junpei. No sense in ruining it now, when he's already upset. Deep breath. ]

...It doesn't have to be one or the other. Do you trust the people worried about you?

[moondregs]

… yes.

[ The truth is difficult to put out there in the open, that ‘weakness’ bare on a plate before him. ]

What do you want me to say, Quentin?

[pharmacy]

I wanna know you don't think I'm just saying this to be an asshole. Or because I don't like him.

I'm saying it because I care about you. You believe that?

[moondregs]

Come on, I don’t think you’re an asshole. I believe you care about me.

I just think you … don’t understand. You don’t see him the way I do.

[ Warmth. He can’t help it. That little thrill calling. That addictive something. ]

And that’s okay. I think I kind of like that. Like … enjoying a movie other people think sucks. But you pick up on little things they miss. It feels … special.

[pharmacy]

[ There's another long pause so he doesn't scoff, doesn't say something stupid. ]

Yeah. I guess I get that.

[ Conceptually, from a distance. ]

...You'll keep an eye out for me too, right?

[moondregs]

[ That catches him off guard, making him stumble on the words. ]

Is … there something you’re worried about … I mean, aside from the obvious things in this place?

[pharmacy]

I mean, the obvious things are plenty. But you know--it's easy to get twisted up in this place. The point of friends is to have someone to watch your back, right?

[moondregs]

… yeah, I’ll look out for you.

[ Although he’s not exactly feeling confident in his ability to protect himself or anyone else since he stopped being able to summon Moon Dregs. It makes him a little nervous to make the promise. ]

I do remember I liked how you kiss … just … so you know. That’s not something I’ve done a lot of.

[pharmacy]

[ Of course he hasn't "done a lot" of kissing. What bullshit. ]

Next time I'll catch you before you're exhausted, we can swap pointers. Can I give you one for today?

[moondregs]

Uh, all right?

[pharmacy]

If you're going to work today, go to the bath house first. Get into the bath salts, get on a good soak. It's gonna help the pain.

[moondregs]

That’s not a kissing pointer.

I … definitely want a bath. Just as soon as my head stops pounding.

[pharmacy]

No, that's more of a--post-anal pointer.

[moondregs]

I don’t ever want to hear you say ‘anal’ again.

[pharmacy]

Sorry--post-butt-stuff. Better?

[moondregs]

No. Ugh, I don’t think there’s a way to say it that’s not weird.

[ This man is a nurse. ]

I was so ridiculous on whatever was in the food. I think I went at things too hard and I’m paying for it.

[pharmacy]

[ A snort. ] I mean, just physcially I’d be a little worried about the aftermath for you, yeah. Have you ever been that drunk?

[moondregs]

Except for my mom giving me sips of stuff when I was a kid I never drank before I came here. I’d see how embarrassing she’d get when she got drunk and didn’t want any part of that.

[pharmacy]

[ That’s—a lot. There’s a few extra seconds of quiet on his end. Then, seriously, concerned: ]

...Junpei, are you okay?