rubi inbox

[pharmacy]

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Quentin Smith, 23

letters ◇ thoughts ◇ dreams

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Comments

[pharmacy]

maybe if you would just level with her
with all of them

[rehandle]

I hope you're not implying that you think I didn't try

[pharmacy]

I mean about what you are
how powerful you are

you have to accept what you are to them, why wouldn't they be afraid of you if it feels like you're trying to trick them?

[rehandle]

[ It's— a fair point. Is it? He thinks so. But this is one perspective he can never really have, so, earnestly - ]

I don't understand what you think I can say

[pharmacy]

say you're a god
say you're like her

Zlatka

[rehandle]

[ Hold in your revulsion, your refutes, Stephen. He doesn't mean any harm. ]

And how do you see that playing out, exactly?

[pharmacy]

[ He's high off adrenaline and spinning his wheels, wringing his hands as he tries to think just what it might look like. ]

idk 
idk idk idkd idkdikd maybe they would
maybe they'd have someone else to rally behind
maybe ivica wouldn't be so scared of you if she thought you would protect her

you could learn resurrection
if ianthe can learn it, you could learn it

[rehandle]

I am not the key to this, Quentin.
They love her
They love her because she has never hurt them

I have hurt them
I have imprisoned them
I have insulted their god
I have damaged their property and lied and terrorised
I have made a mockery of their every attempt to bring me to heel

I am to them what she is to us
Telling them I am a god will only make them more afraid.

[pharmacy]

well maybe they should be afraid!

[ A beat. A beat. A beat. ]

or maybe you can be nicer idk!

[rehandle]

[ Suddenly, he is certain this is the most tired he has been in his life. This will remain true for the all of ten seconds it will inevitably take for the next time he's the most tired he's ever been in his life, but for right now? ]

Thank you for the advice, Quentin. Try and get some sleep tonight.

feel free to have stevie ignore him bUT

[pharmacy]

stephen we have to do something different
stephen what we're doing isn't WORKING

he will NOT

[rehandle]

You just spent how long trying to argue for the right of the people who tortured you to be sentenced to an opportunity for community cohesion and mutual benefit

And now you want to promote me into the role of nice but wrathful god

[pharmacy]

zlatka doesn't follow their rules! she doesn't follow their rules, we can give them a power that DOES 

[rehandle]

WE? What are WE going to do to make sure I'm the perfect law-abiding god?
Enough

[pharmacy]

why are you so afraid of this? they already know, everyone knows what you are and where you stand, all you have to do is own it!

[rehandle]

I'm not afraid. I will do what's needed, with and for the people who want it. But the rest are not going to abandon their life-long faith overnight because I said so, and this place does NOT need another benevolent dictator

[pharmacy]

now you're just twisting up what i'm saying, no one wants you to be a dictator, that's not what im saying 

[rehandle]

"Maybe they should be afraid"?
If they hate me for trying to usurp the position of a god who they love, what do you think the alternative is to make them accept me but fear or force?

I can't 'own it' my way into GODHOOD, Quentin.

Calm down, get some sleep, talk to me tomorrow

[pharmacy]

[ Maybe he's right (he's right), but the dismissal stings, especially after: ]

what happened to doing well, really well

[rehandle]

You did
You did

That doesn't make your every thought the full and final answer
We'll talk about it another day

[pharmacy]

fine
FINE
I'm going to ritual

[rehandle]

What?

[pharmacy]

I'm going to this weeks ritual, I have to blow off some steam! is that OKAY?

[rehandle]

[ He's so - ]

Are you asking me if it's okay to go to the sex party in the square?

[pharmacy]

no, I'm TELLING you I'm going and you're being WEIRD about it