[what does she do with that, now? strange new layers to an obsession she understands, except it's cruel, it's cruel, she's never thought of Danny as cruel - ]
maybe i should have known he'd done that maybe i didn't want to know
but i mean, you can see how this makes things weird for me sometimes it feels like people think what happened was a prank or sth i can feel what i feel, but i'm not allowed to let it affect anything or anyone else
i think there's people here who are really cavalier about dying bc it isn't permanent and i guess they forget that you had a history with him before you knew he was the thing you had history with, because everyone's wrapped up in their own shit all the time
[ The first thing he reaches for is too raw, too red, and too angry to say. It's just his instinct. He doesn't even really want the kind of lashing out he thinks of first, does he? Quentin reaches for the very next thing: ]
I want to be able to be in the woods and not be afraid
yeah and a mean right hook has always thrown him off
knowing how to fight isn't going to make me feel better about you either even if it was okay to hit a girl, I don't think clocking you would help anything hitting house didn't jesus even killing danny didn't
jem, trust me, I have hypervigilant in the woods down
[ An eternity in the Fog pretty much drilled that into him. ]
I didn't mean that literally like i want to be able to take a walk I wanna feel safe in the woods, or in town, or at a party I wanna know who I can trust
1. are you worried about danny specifically in the woods?
2. because the woods are always dangerous with or without him, and you managed fine before. you’d manage better if you know how to fight properly.
3. you’re already friends with people i personally wouldn’t trust, but you seem to
4. i think you want to let your guard down, maybe i’m wrong. or projecting? but i think we both know that can’t happen, because we’re always in danger here, no matter where we are or who we’re with. and it’s a shitty exhausting way to live but it’s how you stay alive a little longer.
5. i don’t think danny will hurt you again. physically, anyway. not unless you ask for it.
you want us to be friends, right? you keep acting like you want us to be friends, but you don't seem to have any idea of what he's done either you don't care enough to find out or you're playing dumb like that's gonna get you off the hook
either way, how am I supposed to trust you? how can I willfully put myself out there for you knowing I'm gonna get hurt like last night?
i really didn't know he'd done that to you, with the photos.
i care about you, quentin. i care whether you're hurt, or upset, because you've been kind to me, and i'm not trying to hurt you on purpose. i'm not trying to hurt you at all, i don't WANT you to be hurt at all.
i'm not a great person, really. obviously, but i wouldn't hurt you on purpose.
[ Right. Sure. "I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt" seems like the best he's going to get. ]
alright well, apparently this is a me problem, I should've known there was a risk of feeling shitty, whatever next time you loan him something, maybe check if he's used it for fucking psychological terrorism? as a favor to me
if you think it's a YOU problem, what are YOU gonna do about it? don't tell me I need to learn to fight or that I'm allowed to feel my feelings, tell me how you're gonna keep from having to apologize later
i don't know? what do you want me to do, quentin? i'm listening
i can keep the camera. i can never talk about him again. i could lock him in his cage for a week if you wanted me to, but you need to tell me what to do here
anywhere else, with anyone else, if you were throwing a party where you knew that one of your friends had seriously hurt another, what might be 1-3 THINGS you could do to minimize damage
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[what does she do with that, now? strange new layers to an obsession she understands, except it's cruel, it's cruel, she's never thought of Danny as cruel - ]
maybe i should have known he'd done that
maybe i didn't want to know
i'm sorry.
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but i mean, you can see how this makes things weird for me
sometimes it feels like people think what happened was a prank or sth
i can feel what i feel, but i'm not allowed to let it affect anything or anyone else
idk what i'm supposed to do
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and i guess they forget that you had a history with him before you knew he was
the thing you had history with, because everyone's wrapped up in their own shit all the time
what do you want to do about it?
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I want to be able to be in the woods and not be afraid
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you've BEEN here, right?
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especially in the woods. danny’s out there. he’s always going to be out there.
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knowing how to fight isn't going to make me feel better about you either
even if it was okay to hit a girl, I don't think clocking you would help anything
hitting house didn't
jesus even killing danny didn't
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anyway you wouldn't be able to clock me, i'm fast
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[ An eternity in the Fog pretty much drilled that into him. ]
I didn't mean that literally like i want to be able to take a walk
I wanna feel safe in the woods, or in town, or at a party
I wanna know who I can trust
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2. because the woods are always dangerous with or without him, and you managed fine before. you’d manage better if you know how to fight properly.
3. you’re already friends with people i personally wouldn’t trust, but you seem to
4. i think you want to let your guard down, maybe i’m wrong. or projecting? but i think we both know that can’t happen, because we’re always in danger here, no matter where we are or who we’re with. and it’s a shitty exhausting way to live but it’s how you stay alive a little longer.
5. i don’t think danny will hurt you again. physically, anyway. not unless you ask for it.
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I'm not worried about Danny hurting me, I know he will, I know what that danger is
I'm worried about YOU hurting me
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either way, how am I supposed to trust you? how can I willfully put myself out there for you knowing I'm gonna get hurt like last night?
1/2
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i care about you, quentin. i care whether you're hurt, or upset, because you've been kind to me, and i'm not trying to hurt you on purpose. i'm not trying to hurt you at all, i don't WANT you to be hurt at all.
i'm not a great person, really. obviously, but i wouldn't hurt you on purpose.
but i care about him too.
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alright well, apparently this is a me problem, I should've known there was a risk of feeling shitty, whatever
next time you loan him something, maybe check if he's used it for fucking psychological terrorism? as a favor to me
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sure. i can do that. sure.
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what do you want me to do, quentin? i'm listening
i can keep the camera. i can never talk about him again. i could lock him in his cage for a week if you wanted me to, but you need to tell me what to do here
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anywhere else, with anyone else, if you were throwing a party where you knew that one of your friends had seriously hurt another, what might be 1-3 THINGS you could do to minimize damage
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maybe you forgot in the course of party prep, and both people are already there
what then
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i mean, I figured he would be there, it was your birthday
[ And they're...y'know. ]
but yeah knowing you thought about it would have been nice
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🎀