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[pharmacy]

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Quentin Smith, 23

letters ◇ thoughts ◇ dreams

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Comments

[pharmacy]

It's not a sentiment, it's just a fact, you need people to take care of you, too



I know you talk, I just can't believe Mr. Ultimate Cosmic Power went crying to you like immediately

[interior]

Less than most. But I know you know how to take care of people better than making threats over them. Want to tell me what it was really about?

[pharmacy]

idk why don't you Envoy Intuition it out

[interior]

Because it doesn't work like that. And it tends to make people uncomfortable. Defensive.

[pharmacy]

you know what else will make ppl defensive? attacking their friends

you almost fully turned, Kovacs

[interior]

I was already on my way before he dropped me in that hole, but I don't see you threatening the locals for imposing chastity.

He didn't do what he did by choice. He wasn't in control.

[pharmacy]

he was enough, he told me himself

[interior]

Does he seem like the kind of man that'd miss an opportunity to blame himself?

[pharmacy]

[ There's a long silence on his end, caught in the moment of a thousand moments that Quentin took from Strange, hitched on the intention of coming to bargain. Guilt pools in his gut. ]




They were brainwashed
that doesn't excuse everything they did
not for ANY of them

[interior]

They don't need excuses. They didn't choose this.

What it truly doesn't do is negate the damage caused. It doubles it. Everything they did that went against their normal morals, values or choices was as much done to them as to the people they did it to.

[pharmacy]

so what? that makes us even?

[interior]

That's up to you. One hurt doesn't cancel another out. Justice and forgiveness are both way more fucking subjective than anyone likes to admit.

[pharmacy]

yeah well it feels like subjectively you think I'm not being very fair

[interior]

Because I've forgiven him for what he did to me. Now, you can choose not to, you can be angry about it, and I'll appreciate the sentiment, like I said. But it doesn't warrant you using it to distract from dealing with whatever's between the pair of you direct.

[pharmacy]

I don't know if I'm more insulted by you 100% not thinking I could back up what I told him, or by the fact that you think I would only give a fuck because I need a distraction

He tricked me, I hate that, it wasn't his fault, and he'll prove that he's all better over time

Until then, I'm gonna be wary
Forgive me if I'm sensitive to finding out someone's overture of interest was just part of their evil plan to take over the world

[interior]

Did he tell you that?

[pharmacy]

[ fuck, shit ]

no, but when I found out what happened to them, it made him coming onto me make a lot more sense

[interior]

So you're assuming. That it was entirely fabricated, or that he used something pre-existing to his advantage?

[pharmacy]

yeah, I know, what a brazen leap of logic

kovacs come on

[interior]

Just trying to work out if this is a self-esteem crisis or not.

[pharmacy]

fuck OFF

[interior]

I'm not going to tell you how he feels, or how you should feel about it. But he'll be as aware as I am that it would've been salt in a wound.

And I never said that I didn't think you could back it up, by the way.

me, looking for the lie

[pharmacy]

just that I'm sentimental, judgmental, and have self-esteem issues

[interior]

Jesus fucking Christ.

[This? Again?]

Do I look like I can't speak for myself? That I need the words put in my mouth? Because the amount of people insisting on doing it is starting to truly test my patience.

[pharmacy]

they're LITERALLY your words, I don't have to put them anywhere! if you don't want me to draw conclusions, stop jerking me around the point, will you just say what you think?