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[pharmacy]

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Quentin Smith, 23

letters ◇ thoughts ◇ dreams

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Comments

[pharmacy]

[ It was only a matter of time, probably. ]

You were close with her, right?
think about it

why would you guess I did it?

[guitarpicks]

don't talk about her like she’s not coming back

i don’t know you, man, and what i am asking is why you went through with anything after the month of fear and paranoia going around and killed my girlfriend

[pharmacy]

she's your girlfriend?

[ Present tense--isn't that nice! ]

okay, so you know her well
I'm serious, Eddie, think about it

why might she want to die?
If you care about her, you have to have some guesses

[guitarpicks]

yeah, surprise

quentin

i'm begging you, just be straight with me man. please

i know shit wasn't right this month and she was going through it, but i've also spent the last month with my friend's monster in my head trying to drive me insane and while i'm trying to reconcile the terrible shit i did, i get a front row in my girlfriend's head to her death

so if i missed something i need to know before this is the thing that pushes me off the tiny little cliff that represents what's left of my sanity

what happened

[pharmacy]

she was scared of dying
she asked me to do it, and I did it

She'll be back soon, maybe you wanna get in on the vigil and think about how it's gonna be when she gets back
without anyone extra in your head, it should be easier to keep an eye out for the important people, right?

[guitarpicks]

jesus christ
she asked
fuck

she--- when, man? when did she ask?

[pharmacy]

Almost a week ago

Look, Billy already knocked me around about it, but I'll tell you what I told him: I did it as quick and clean as I could, cut her throat and stayed with her while she bled out
I called Ianthe as soon as it was done, the Duchess will bring her back

[guitarpicks]

last fucking week????

is any of that supposed to make us feel better?
quick and clean...
stayed with her? what the fuck, man
that shit doesn't matter when she asked you to kill her and you did it

[pharmacy]

I'm telling you I did the best I could

She was losing her mind, Eddie, you get that, right? Like I wouldn't say YES to that request unless it was the last fucking resort

[guitarpicks]

fuck--- i--- fuck

no, yeah

sorry. sorry

i'm fucked up and this is fucked. i'm sorry she asked... and i didn't think you would just---

it's just all fucked. sorry

[pharmacy]

you didn't think I would just what?

[guitarpicks]

just--- fuck
i meant sorry
you don't seem like sort of guy who'd do it without a good reason or to be cruel in a crisis
so i'm going to believe there really was no other choice when she asked

[pharmacy]

and if I didn't have a good reason? if it wasn't the last possible option?

[guitarpicks]

don't let me find out :)

[pharmacy]

i have to assume that just applies to jem huh? or billy? you're cool with other people getting killed for ???? reasons

[guitarpicks]

i'm not cool with anyone getting killed, quentin, but sure. jem, billy, lottie, murphy, my people? i'm particularly protective of

[pharmacy]

right
okay



there are vigils, which you probably know about
there won't be too many, we tried to make it so she wouldn't be gone long, but maybe you'll feel better if you get in on one
it's supposed to be cathartic

[guitarpicks]

yeah... you're right, man. maybe it'll help

i'll get out of your head

🎀

[pharmacy]

be safe
she'll be back soon