( oh right... look, he didn't go to fucking school for math. or reading comprehension, either, bc the use of the pronoun "he" really gave that one away... BUT LISTEN. MAYBE QUENTIN MEANT THE EVIL DOG?? )
I get you're fucking around but a murderer that could whistle a few times and all of a sudden we turn on each other is a complete nightmare.
there's no such thing as a toasted marshmallow, that's a lie fed to you by big marshmallow so you keep buying bags trying to get the perfect toast, all they do is burn
you're fucking kidding me this from a guy that can sit for six stitches? I'm not IMPATIENT, that's how marshmallows ARE, maybe in the golden old days they were different, grandpa, but I know what I'm talking about
Okay, smartass. For starters, fuck you. There were no pain killers, it was like you were sewing it straight to the goddamn bone. I'd like to see you sit through more than five minutes of that.
And no you fucking don't, because you think everybody is chewing through charcoal just because you don't have the magic touch.
Honestly it's just sad you've really never had a good one. See, I got all the time in the world when it's worth the wait. Find me some marshmallows in this hell hole and I'll prove it and I won't even be a complete dick when I'm right.
Steve, babe, I'll tell you what, you can do my next set of stitches AND the next time I catch even a hint of marshmallows, I'll get them for you so you can fucking prove it
( that sarcastic babe immediately awakens something, deeply buried but never forgotten. belligerently flirting with his fellow jocks is a delightful ritual he has sorely missed since he got fognapped. like who is he going to play flirt with here, huh??? David? be serious. Meg is a jock but she's also a girl. wouldn't be the same. )
You got a deal, baby. And I'll even be a fucking gentleman about it when you're crying like a girl.
wow, and that's how you know a guy was raised right I'll see you with the staypufts
[ It is, of course, weeks (or something like weeks or months or centuries) before they chance upon anything that fits the bill. When they do, it's hardly namebrand. It's a dollar store brand, dull blue label, with a little counter grime stuck to the bag from the counter Quentin yanked it from. But the mallows inside are clean and white, maybe the slightest bit tacky. ]
They don't look radioactive. Or...not more than I remember. [ He squishes one experimentally before wiggling it onto a bark-stripped tree branch and passing Steve the goods. ] I'll eat the first one. I'd hate for you to get hurt.
( of course, life in the realm goes as life in the realm does. he sort of forgets about the marshmallow date until all of a sudden Quentin shows up with a bag of pasty white powdery pillows of childhood joy. Steve is practically Quentin's antithesis as far as downtime goes, he just loves to close his eyes and hopefully go to a hazy nothing and snooze away the horrors. still, if he was half dozing, he bolts awake like a dog that heard the treat drawer open when Quentin shows up with marshmallows.
it's very chivalrous to be the first to die from potentially poisoned off brand marshmallows. Quentin is being very cute about it, really, but Steve is unfortunately not listening. he takes the one right out of Quentin's hand and puts it in his mouth immediately. he makes a sound that a stale marshmallow really doesn't deserve, but holy shit he can't remember the last time he tasted something that wasn't absolute dogshit. ) Oh, ( Steve says, mouth full, realizing he's stepped all over Quentin's attempts to be playfully chivalrous. ) That didn't happen.
(it's very this energy. ignore him sucking the powdery starchy stuff off his fingers too. ty 🙏 )
[ His jaw drops in exaggerated dismay, but he's fully earnest about scrunching the plastic bag shut and holding it arm's length away from Steve. ] Whoa! Okay, fuckin--compromising the bet? Come on, man!
[ He shakes his head, eyes wide. He gestures toward the trees with his chin (and snakes his own stale puff out to push into his mouth). ] Go get a stick. Find your perfect stick, time's ticking.
( what was the bet again? Steve's mind isn't what one could call a steel trap these days. thankfully, Quentin fills in the blanks, or enough of them for Steve to get by. cook a marshmallow without charbroiling it. aka baby shit that you learn at boy scouts. Steve can't quite recollect what he gets for properly roasting a marshmallow, but it doesn't actually matter because the more important part is he will get to eat one after he proves his point. )
It's not about the stick. It's about the finesse. ( they're still talking about marshmallows. not beef wellington. just for the record. because the tone Steve used does make it kind of unclear, as if this is a grandiose culinary quest they are embarking on. )
Get a stick, ( Steve scoffs, because what is he. a dog? and then he goes to find a stick, but it's because he chose to, OK??? he heads for the nearest tree and stands around with his hands on his hips, inspecting the forest cover for one to jump out at him. in the meantime, ) Where'd you even find them? ( should he be worried about what he just wolfed down? not that it'll stop him from eating another, honestly, he's just curious. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@babysitters
sure if the master's whistle doesn't blow his ear drums
or worse, if it makes him come to heel
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I get you're fucking around but a murderer that could whistle a few times and all of a sudden we turn on each other is a complete nightmare.
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look, rick and daryl and michonne might all be a little on the mad max side, but I bet that makes them pretty resistant to turning for anything
now if any of us could get on their good sides, we'd be golden
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( that may or may not be asking for a more delicious rendition of My Little Oni, but in theory a monster made of marshmallow feels very manageable. )
We should send in Kate then. Claudette maybe.
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why did you have to mention the marshmallow man, I'd kill for burnt marshamllows rn
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( he's 100% sure his charm would NOT work on the head cocked sheriff. but maaaaybe Michonne? plus she's very hot, so. )
Burnt? They're supposed to be toasted, not burnt, you goddamn animal.
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( did he stutter??? )
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this from a guy that can sit for six stitches?
I'm not IMPATIENT, that's how marshmallows ARE, maybe in the golden old days they were different, grandpa, but I know what I'm talking about
1/2
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Honestly it's just sad you've really never had a good one. See, I got all the time in the world when it's worth the wait. Find me some marshmallows in this hell hole and I'll prove it and I won't even be a complete dick when I'm right.
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You got a deal, baby. And I'll even be a fucking gentleman about it when you're crying like a girl.
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[ It is, of course, weeks (or something like weeks or months or centuries) before they chance upon anything that fits the bill. When they do, it's hardly namebrand. It's a dollar store brand, dull blue label, with a little counter grime stuck to the bag from the counter Quentin yanked it from. But the mallows inside are clean and white, maybe the slightest bit tacky. ]
They don't look radioactive. Or...not more than I remember. [ He squishes one experimentally before wiggling it onto a bark-stripped tree branch and passing Steve the goods. ] I'll eat the first one. I'd hate for you to get hurt.
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it's very chivalrous to be the first to die from potentially poisoned off brand marshmallows. Quentin is being very cute about it, really, but Steve is unfortunately not listening. he takes the one right out of Quentin's hand and puts it in his mouth immediately. he makes a sound that a stale marshmallow really doesn't deserve, but holy shit he can't remember the last time he tasted something that wasn't absolute dogshit. ) Oh, ( Steve says, mouth full, realizing he's stepped all over Quentin's attempts to be playfully chivalrous. ) That didn't happen.
( it's very this energy. ignore him sucking the powdery starchy stuff off his fingers too. ty 🙏 )
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[ He shakes his head, eyes wide. He gestures toward the trees with his chin (and snakes his own stale puff out to push into his mouth). ] Go get a stick. Find your perfect stick, time's ticking.
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It's not about the stick. It's about the finesse. ( they're still talking about marshmallows. not beef wellington. just for the record. because the tone Steve used does make it kind of unclear, as if this is a grandiose culinary quest they are embarking on. )
Get a stick, ( Steve scoffs, because what is he. a dog? and then he goes to find a stick, but it's because he chose to, OK??? he heads for the nearest tree and stands around with his hands on his hips, inspecting the forest cover for one to jump out at him. in the meantime, ) Where'd you even find them? ( should he be worried about what he just wolfed down? not that it'll stop him from eating another, honestly, he's just curious. )