rubi inbox

[pharmacy]

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Quentin Smith, 23

letters ◇ thoughts ◇ dreams

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[ludomania]

And you got it.

[ and? is he going to start crying next? ]

[pharmacy]

[ Maybe he will cry! Maybe he's already starting, stopping halfway down the stairs to slump against the wall! This isn't fair. He hasn't even slept a full night, he shouldn't have to deal with this. It's cold out here, and he's still tired.

[ So fine. He scrubs his eyes and puffs his cheeks and turns around. Go back upstairs. Go back to bed. ]

Sure. Just what I wanted. Sorry for bothering you, I just--thought I heard--you, I thought I heard you out there.

[ludomania]

[ he feels so fucking awful hearing the strain in his voice. he drags a hand down his face, trying to ignore the guilt eating at him. ]

I thought you left because of what I said. Or didn't.

[pharmacy]

[ He stops at the door, hand on the frame. ]

...What if I had?

[ludomania]

But you didn't.

[ he doesn't want to hear it. he doesn't want that responsibility. ]

[pharmacy]

No, Felipe. No, it wasn't because of you, it wasn't because of anyone. Is that all you wanted?

[ludomania]

[ wait, no. now he wants it. ]

It had to be because of something! No one just leaves like that.

[pharmacy]

I'm telling you, I didn't leave, I got--look, I was--you don't ever just get overwhelmed? You don't ever want everything to just go away for a while? I know you're not immune to this.