[Quentin's bleeding reaction is soothing. Harlan is surprised too, truthfully. He was sure she'd chicken out, but there's a swell of unbridled pride as he remembers the moment she broke skin.]
Cut my throat.
[There's a flourish of affection, like a contented sigh. He doesn't mean to share it.]
[ If he had control of his body, he'd be setting his head back right now. Relief, maybe more than he should feel for someone he hardly knows. But still. ]
It's bullshit, right? The slit throat is a bitch, that was my first time. I just got knocked out of my head this time, and it's still a fucking wringer.
[He didn't mind the method, actually. Dying the same way that he kills felt... fair. It's a good death. But he hasn't exactly had time to unravel all of his feelings over that yet.]
Yeah. Telepath, even before all of this, and she'd be a force of nature even without it. She was in there with me. She--shut me off. Or. I dunno. I'd have to ask Ianthe. I've been kicked out of dreams before, but this...
[ The general feeling of ugh comes across the line. ]
I mean--fuck. [ He strains to think of an organized, concise way to say it, but fuck it, they have time. ] I mean...there's a little...psychic hole in the back of my brain that lets me out sometimes. In my dreams. Into other people's dreams. I've kinda been...working on it lately.
Right now, I'm just trying to avoid thinking about--the fuckin--pain. [ Haha, heehee. ] I'm trying to get control of it. Stephen Strange is a sorcerer, he's got--experience with this kind of thing. He's helping me master it.
[ Sorry, Stephen, but it's funny. Almost as funny as the question. Does he want to come in? The pain dims a little bit. That's something odd, isn't it? ]
Just--wondering. Some people don't dream. I don't know if they're lucky or...they're probably lucky.
What, if I wanna come in, are you gonna clean up your headspace?
Okay, well--that's a good image to start with. Maybe...maybe every time you see mess, ask yourself if you're dreaming. Eventually, you'll see mess in a dream, you'll ask yourself, and you'll realize whoa, yeah I am.
Then, start cleaning. Once you can clean and stay in the dream--stay aware that you're dreaming? Hit me up. We can do--we can do next steps.
[ The edges of his mind bubble as he tries to make sense of the instructions. The words are clear but the how is not, his consciousness too detached from himself to comprehend it. Still, he notes it all down.
There will be an after, and he can sort out the details then, when he wakes up. Because he will wake up. This can't last forever.
The space around him sighs and expands, relaxing. ]
You said you were.
[ Unfortunately for Quentin, a relaxed Harlan has more brainpower to argue with. ]
You said you have a... little psychic hole. Stephen Strange is helping you with it.
Just--if I can control the dream better, I can get out faster! I can--bail if I need to, or if someone is having a shitty nightmare, I can help them out! It helps me sleep better, I dunno, what does it matter?
It matters 'cause you're going into people's brains! Safe space!
[ But, okay, those reasons sound legit to Harlan. And he can't exactly argue he wouldn't be dreamhopping himself if he had the ability... Privacy concerns only apply to him. ]
Were you in Mavis' dream? That how she killed you?
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Cut my throat.
[There's a flourish of affection, like a contented sigh. He doesn't mean to share it.]
I asked her to.
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[He doesn't think, anyway. Maybe it is. Existing like this has his mind too fragmented.]
I... wanted to know how it felt.
I don't like it.
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It's bullshit, right? The slit throat is a bitch, that was my first time. I just got knocked out of my head this time, and it's still a fucking wringer.
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Knocked out of your head...? How?
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[He tests the name out. It doesn't feel familiar.]
No. Void-touched?
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[ This killed the shit out of him. ]
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[Oh, he hates the sound of that.]
Can she... wait, what do you mean kicked out of dreams?
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I mean--fuck. [ He strains to think of an organized, concise way to say it, but fuck it, they have time. ] I mean...there's a little...psychic hole in the back of my brain that lets me out sometimes. In my dreams. Into other people's dreams. I've kinda been...working on it lately.
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Okay. [The rush of static comes back as he fights to materialize his curiosity into an actual question.] How are... How are you working on it? Why?
[Wait.]
Are you doing it now?
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Do you dream?
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That's a dumb name.
[A name he keeps hearing, though. Probably worth looking into.]
Um. Sometimes. Nothing good. Why? Do you want to... come in?
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Just--wondering. Some people don't dream. I don't know if they're lucky or...they're probably lucky.
What, if I wanna come in, are you gonna clean up your headspace?
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[What he would give to have sleep just be a safe space sometimes.]
...Is that something I can do? Clean up?
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[ There's a small laugh. Self-deprecating, but it's a start. ]
Lucid dreaming about cleaning sounds nice.
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Then, start cleaning. Once you can clean and stay in the dream--stay aware that you're dreaming? Hit me up. We can do--we can do next steps.
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Okay... Hit you up, what, like this?
[ The thought of trying to communicate telepathically from a dream feels impossible. But the, he's doing it now, isn't he? Sort of. ]
Why are you going into people's dreams?
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There will be an after, and he can sort out the details then, when he wakes up. Because he will wake up. This can't last forever.
The space around him sighs and expands, relaxing. ]
You said you were.
[ Unfortunately for Quentin, a relaxed Harlan has more brainpower to argue with. ]
You said you have a... little psychic hole. Stephen Strange is helping you with it.
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[ Also unfortunately for Quentin, he's not good at lying in most circumstances, including this very weird, intimate one. ]
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[ Why are you climbing into everybody else's psychic holes??? ]
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[ But, okay, those reasons sound legit to Harlan. And he can't exactly argue he wouldn't be dreamhopping himself if he had the ability... Privacy concerns only apply to him. ]
Were you in Mavis' dream? That how she killed you?
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cw self harm
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cw: self harm discussion, dubconny vibes, harlan didn't consent to this scene
cw whee more dubcon
cw: suicidal...vibes
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🎀!!